Friday, February 26, 2010
Had my best day today. First official date, hahahah. (:
Went lots of places, ok not really but it seem like a lot. After all, one whole day lea! Saw XueShen at Tamp1 though. But well, not like I'm doing something wrong isn't it? Hahahah.
J's attachment going to start three days later, in less than 72hours!!! )': But uh, he'll get to enter RWS! Bring me there someday kk!
And, I realised, despite how I tried to keep my strong front before everyone, there will still be a time where I just break down in front of everyone/anyone else, which is not what a superwoman will do. And it is only around two hours ago that I realised, how fragile I can be. Within the superwoman Melody, it is still a little girl.
And please please never talk to me about sad stuffs, I am damn sensitive right now.
dearie thank you for today - my post-exams activity. thank you for appearing in my life, because that is the best thing that have ever happened to me. thank you for always being there, trying your best to shower all your love for me after you knowing what i always went through at home. thank you for always there to solve whatever problems i met. thank you for being there at times where i couldn't sleep, trying your very best to make me sleep and making yourself stay awake just being afraid of me waking up in the middle of the night due to nightmares again. and thank you for being there to love me, and everything that you have done for me.
to me, you going on attachment is going away for a long long time. after all, up till now that i'm almost 18, no one whom i've been to dear to left me for any reasons. ok well, not that i have people whom i've been dear to in fact. so it is rather the first time that someone in my life who have been lingering around me is going to disappear for such a long time. i know you'll say you'll still find time to meet me and will webcam with me, but it is still a total different thing from what we are right now, isn't it? so yup, pardon for my tears. and it is only now that i realise, in front of you, i'm never a superwoman; because i am, and i will always be the little girl who will always be there for you. I love you my dear! ♥
,MELODY @ 11:00 PM
Went lots of places, ok not really but it seem like a lot. After all, one whole day lea! Saw XueShen at Tamp1 though. But well, not like I'm doing something wrong isn't it? Hahahah.
J's attachment going to start three days later, in less than 72hours!!! )': But uh, he'll get to enter RWS! Bring me there someday kk!
And, I realised, despite how I tried to keep my strong front before everyone, there will still be a time where I just break down in front of everyone/anyone else, which is not what a superwoman will do. And it is only around two hours ago that I realised, how fragile I can be. Within the superwoman Melody, it is still a little girl.
And please please never talk to me about sad stuffs, I am damn sensitive right now.
dearie thank you for today - my post-exams activity. thank you for appearing in my life, because that is the best thing that have ever happened to me. thank you for always being there, trying your best to shower all your love for me after you knowing what i always went through at home. thank you for always there to solve whatever problems i met. thank you for being there at times where i couldn't sleep, trying your very best to make me sleep and making yourself stay awake just being afraid of me waking up in the middle of the night due to nightmares again. and thank you for being there to love me, and everything that you have done for me.
to me, you going on attachment is going away for a long long time. after all, up till now that i'm almost 18, no one whom i've been to dear to left me for any reasons. ok well, not that i have people whom i've been dear to in fact. so it is rather the first time that someone in my life who have been lingering around me is going to disappear for such a long time. i know you'll say you'll still find time to meet me and will webcam with me, but it is still a total different thing from what we are right now, isn't it? so yup, pardon for my tears. and it is only now that i realise, in front of you, i'm never a superwoman; because i am, and i will always be the little girl who will always be there for you. I love you my dear! ♥
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Exams are finally over (ok I've got only two papers) but I'm not a least bit happy. Just feel relieved that I don't have to mug and that I can kiss year 1.2 goodbye but the thing is, after mugging for a week, I've got nothing to do at home after coming home today and I feel super bored. Which is bad. Cause I felt myself rotting just now, till I went to trim my nails. Like wow! Cause I don't do that usually. And actually short nails ain't that bad either.
And I seriously feel damn guilty right now. First, I said something which I hated all along due to anger. But there's only myself to blame in fact. All I can blame is myself and only myself. Second, I did something which might injure myself but luckily it did not. And lastly, I'm forced to changed plans due to some idiotic reasons at home and I'm super sorry about it. To whoever you know you are, I'm so so so so so so sorry about it. I know you're looking forward to going out tomorrow but I spoilt your plans so I'm really sorry about it.
And now I'm sacrificing time with my love one for my "love ones". WTH.
,MELODY @ 11:17 PM
And I seriously feel damn guilty right now. First, I said something which I hated all along due to anger. But there's only myself to blame in fact. All I can blame is myself and only myself. Second, I did something which might injure myself but luckily it did not. And lastly, I'm forced to changed plans due to some idiotic reasons at home and I'm super sorry about it. To whoever you know you are, I'm so so so so so so sorry about it. I know you're looking forward to going out tomorrow but I spoilt your plans so I'm really sorry about it.
And now I'm sacrificing time with my love one for my "love ones". WTH.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Studying out today was crap. A big unsuccess today. Left a while later after the rest left. No mood to study and shit happened. Argh whatever. I don't feel like saying. After all, its not the first time I cried anyway. No one bothers.
Feel damn sick after alighting bus, giddy and seriously felt like vomiting. The feeling was uh, disgusting. Moreover knocked my already injured knee on the chair. But well, who cares. I'm not gonna give a damn about it.
I'm not angry with you. I just hate myself for being affected so easily, for being so bothered about what you say or did, for placing you as my top priority when you didn't and never will, and for the failure of not having any expectations on you. For once, I gave up on thinking - I'm seriously too sick to think about anything.
The only thing I'm left with is to bury myself with books - mug hard and stuck my brain with notes.
Sleep for all I care, I don't give a damn anymore.
,MELODY @ 5:53 PM
Feel damn sick after alighting bus, giddy and seriously felt like vomiting. The feeling was uh, disgusting. Moreover knocked my already injured knee on the chair. But well, who cares. I'm not gonna give a damn about it.
I'm not angry with you. I just hate myself for being affected so easily, for being so bothered about what you say or did, for placing you as my top priority when you didn't and never will, and for the failure of not having any expectations on you. For once, I gave up on thinking - I'm seriously too sick to think about anything.
The only thing I'm left with is to bury myself with books - mug hard and stuck my brain with notes.
Sleep for all I care, I don't give a damn anymore.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Days are spent doing nothing else but mugging alone. But never mind, in less than a week's time, I'll be free from exams and will be enjoying my holidays! (:
And I'm seriously gonna enjoy and sleep my hols away like nobody's business as I'll be tied with trans for two weeks and SL camp before sch starts. Plus Week zero will be taken depending on the number of days for orientation. Ahhh shouldn't have took part in so many things!! But at least I won't have to move in for trans on my birthday if I took the April sem's.
Alright my aim tonight is to sleep by 1130. Will wake up early for studying, or rather mugging tomorrow. (:
dear thanks for accompanying me the past two days alright. i seriously appreciate it. love you ♥
,MELODY @ 10:18 PM
And I'm seriously gonna enjoy and sleep my hols away like nobody's business as I'll be tied with trans for two weeks and SL camp before sch starts. Plus Week zero will be taken depending on the number of days for orientation. Ahhh shouldn't have took part in so many things!! But at least I won't have to move in for trans on my birthday if I took the April sem's.
Alright my aim tonight is to sleep by 1130. Will wake up early for studying, or rather mugging tomorrow. (:
dear thanks for accompanying me the past two days alright. i seriously appreciate it. love you ♥
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Happy Lunar New Year! (:
Spent noon doing nothing else but housework, then dinner while tv while housework at night. So yup I'm here after completing all the housework and stuff. Should be sleeping or studying now but I don't feel like doing any. Hidden reason though.
Many know that I'm alone at home since Friday and will be spending CNY countdown alone. so yup, but I wanna thank LingNa and her mum specially here, cause she called me to go over her place for reunion dinner just now. I rejected anyway, don't feel like disturbing plus I've got to complete my housework anyway. In any case, still Thank you and love you lots! ♥
Spent both countdown to 2010 and countdown to CNY alone. Like woo, Lol.
Actually don't really find myself spending CNY alone although thats the fact, cause my two little kiddos accompanied me to watch tv and they watch me while I did housework. No one to talk to except when I answer phone call, so yup I talked to them (: Loveeeeeeeee them!!
Alright shall end here with love. Happy Valentine's to all ♥
expectation brings about disappointment, if you don't even expect, you won't be disappointed even if it does not happen. and if it happens, its just that you're lucky and take it as a surprise then.
was waiting for your initiative, but it did not happen. sad, but not disappointed - because i know, it won't happened unless i asked for it. but i still know, even if i asked for it, it may not happen. so i choose to be sad, rather than disappointed.
Racer: Ahhh I've tried taking care but well, some things can't be forced. Don't worry I'm fine. And V day was on the 12th for me cause it clashes with CNY.
Amanda: Oh, nope. My TNS is durin March.
LLLN: Hahahah okok. I know. Remember to update me uh!
,MELODY @ 12:46 AM
Spent noon doing nothing else but housework, then dinner while tv while housework at night. So yup I'm here after completing all the housework and stuff. Should be sleeping or studying now but I don't feel like doing any. Hidden reason though.
Many know that I'm alone at home since Friday and will be spending CNY countdown alone. so yup, but I wanna thank LingNa and her mum specially here, cause she called me to go over her place for reunion dinner just now. I rejected anyway, don't feel like disturbing plus I've got to complete my housework anyway. In any case, still Thank you and love you lots! ♥
Spent both countdown to 2010 and countdown to CNY alone. Like woo, Lol.
Actually don't really find myself spending CNY alone although thats the fact, cause my two little kiddos accompanied me to watch tv and they watch me while I did housework. No one to talk to except when I answer phone call, so yup I talked to them (: Loveeeeeeeee them!!
Alright shall end here with love. Happy Valentine's to all ♥expectation brings about disappointment, if you don't even expect, you won't be disappointed even if it does not happen. and if it happens, its just that you're lucky and take it as a surprise then.
was waiting for your initiative, but it did not happen. sad, but not disappointed - because i know, it won't happened unless i asked for it. but i still know, even if i asked for it, it may not happen. so i choose to be sad, rather than disappointed.
Racer: Ahhh I've tried taking care but well, some things can't be forced. Don't worry I'm fine. And V day was on the 12th for me cause it clashes with CNY.
Amanda: Oh, nope. My TNS is durin March.
LLLN: Hahahah okok. I know. Remember to update me uh!
Friday, February 12, 2010
Picture speaks a thousand words (:
I just wanna say, its my best V day ever. ♥
dear i've said whatever i wanted to in the email, but i still wanna say someone here - i love you ♥
Thursday, February 11, 2010
I'm practically injured everywhere right now. Yes, everywhere.
Left knee have been in pain like a week ago, and now my right leg don't feel good. Adding on to that, my shoulders and back are aching due to overweight bags last few days.
See, how to survive for tomorrow's role play when I have to be in heels and stuff? Ahh I just hope I'll survive.
And tummy haven't been feeling well recently cause I get tummy aches quite often now. Like more than 10times today already! ):
Melody cannot fall sick! I've still got to study over the weekends and next week! Ahhhh!
Alright shall sleep. I'm waking up super early, like 6am, though class is at 11am tomorrow, to do some stuffs. Night (:
Mark: Hahahah, Compass.
Mingfu: Um you've not told me who are you.
LLLN: Hahahah yupyup purposly one ma. Scared you zhong se qing you.
Nic: Melody have got to learn to face every frown with a smile. Don't worry I'm fine, but got to catch up soon!
Racer: LOL. Don't even know who is it.
dear one more paper and you'll be freed kay. jiayou jiayou! see you tomorrow my dear. don't faint when you get your surprise kay, love you! ♥♥
,MELODY @ 10:44 PM
Left knee have been in pain like a week ago, and now my right leg don't feel good. Adding on to that, my shoulders and back are aching due to overweight bags last few days.
See, how to survive for tomorrow's role play when I have to be in heels and stuff? Ahh I just hope I'll survive.
And tummy haven't been feeling well recently cause I get tummy aches quite often now. Like more than 10times today already! ):
Melody cannot fall sick! I've still got to study over the weekends and next week! Ahhhh!
Alright shall sleep. I'm waking up super early, like 6am, though class is at 11am tomorrow, to do some stuffs. Night (:
Mark: Hahahah, Compass.
Mingfu: Um you've not told me who are you.
LLLN: Hahahah yupyup purposly one ma. Scared you zhong se qing you.
Nic: Melody have got to learn to face every frown with a smile. Don't worry I'm fine, but got to catch up soon!
Racer: LOL. Don't even know who is it.
dear one more paper and you'll be freed kay. jiayou jiayou! see you tomorrow my dear. don't faint when you get your surprise kay, love you! ♥♥
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
When there's no one to talk to, or rather there is but because I'm the kind who don't really open up my deepest inner self to people and I seriously don't know how to tell you about how I feel, I choose to vent anger on myself, to cry and breakdown quietly...
I just hate myself for not having the courage to tell you what I think.
越是爱你，越是在乎你，就越不敢告诉你我的想法;
就只因为害怕你不开心。。。
,MELODY @ 11:42 PM
I just hate myself for not having the courage to tell you what I think.
越是爱你，越是在乎你，就越不敢告诉你我的想法;
就只因为害怕你不开心。。。
Monday, February 8, 2010
Decided to blog, for no particular reason though. Actually have la, just that I don't feel like saying.
Dinner with LingNa at Compass after so long. Next time must dinner more often kk!! (:
The Icing Room is opened! And the cakes are super beautiful! ♥ Don't know if it taste nice, gonna try it some day! *Lingna remember ahhhh!!*
GTT test is over, so I'm like practically free from everything, with the exceptions of two final papers and interview role play. So meaning I can start my end-sem revision! (:
Shall be off. I feel sudden giddiness.
Racer: Hahahah, its yellow. Maybe cause of the sunlight I think. and ya, thanks (:
Mingfu: Who are you by the way?
Kelvin: Hahahah I also don't know why sia. Not photoshop definately!
dearie don't be bothered about what i posted k. the reason for not telling you straight is cause i don't wanna affect you, not now, never. seriously, i feel damn guilty right now. and, i'm really sorry for the very cold good night message cause, if ever you notice my fb or twit you'll know that i've got no mood, like now. but no matter what, i love you ♥
,MELODY @ 10:48 PM
Dinner with LingNa at Compass after so long. Next time must dinner more often kk!! (:
The Icing Room is opened! And the cakes are super beautiful! ♥ Don't know if it taste nice, gonna try it some day! *Lingna remember ahhhh!!*
GTT test is over, so I'm like practically free from everything, with the exceptions of two final papers and interview role play. So meaning I can start my end-sem revision! (:
Shall be off. I feel sudden giddiness.
Racer: Hahahah, its yellow. Maybe cause of the sunlight I think. and ya, thanks (:
Mingfu: Who are you by the way?
Kelvin: Hahahah I also don't know why sia. Not photoshop definately!
dearie don't be bothered about what i posted k. the reason for not telling you straight is cause i don't wanna affect you, not now, never. seriously, i feel damn guilty right now. and, i'm really sorry for the very cold good night message cause, if ever you notice my fb or twit you'll know that i've got no mood, like now. but no matter what, i love you ♥
Sunday, February 7, 2010
its always someone else who will ask about what has happened/if i'm alright from my msn pm/blog/fb/twitter/whatever other sources i have, never you. or perhaps, i should take it that you're just too busy to notice how i feel.
melody should stop dreaming and hoping - it sucks to have everything crashed, instantly.
don't ask me what has happened, i don't feel like speaking..
,MELODY @ 11:13 PM
melody should stop dreaming and hoping - it sucks to have everything crashed, instantly.
don't ask me what has happened, i don't feel like speaking..
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Tomorrow marks my last presentation - BCS! Finally! Follow by test on Friday and Saturday, another one on Monday, Interview Role Play next Friday and it will be end sem examinations! And my lovely holidays will be here once again.
Spent time studying for BCS @ Rivervale Plaza with J after lunch. Finally I spent time sitting down studying without distractions.
Still down with a bad flu ): Extremely sick right now :S
Shan't stay here for too long; since I planned to sleep early and spend my break time tomorrow to continue studying. Alright shall be off.
Don't let me know if its not confirmed; I cannot take false hopes.
I'm not as strong as you think I am.
Mark: Hahahah, I can keep my school Japan trip itinerary then you can use it to plan!
Racer: Hahahah, true! Its made of gold! &I didn't drug myself to sleep. Cause I'm still sick and my flu med cause drowsiness and when I need to stay up, I always drag till the time before I sleep then I'll take the pill. So if I take the pill early, I'll turn in early.
Nic: No money la! Plus I love that pooh too much that I don't want a second one to replace it. But why am I pathetic?
,MELODY @ 10:51 PM
Spent time studying for BCS @ Rivervale Plaza with J after lunch. Finally I spent time sitting down studying without distractions.
Still down with a bad flu ): Extremely sick right now :S
Shan't stay here for too long; since I planned to sleep early and spend my break time tomorrow to continue studying. Alright shall be off.
Don't let me know if its not confirmed; I cannot take false hopes.
I'm not as strong as you think I am.
Mark: Hahahah, I can keep my school Japan trip itinerary then you can use it to plan!
Racer: Hahahah, true! Its made of gold! &I didn't drug myself to sleep. Cause I'm still sick and my flu med cause drowsiness and when I need to stay up, I always drag till the time before I sleep then I'll take the pill. So if I take the pill early, I'll turn in early.
Nic: No money la! Plus I love that pooh too much that I don't want a second one to replace it. But why am I pathetic?