Sunday, March 28, 2010
Last night at home already and will only be back on Thurs since I'm moving into Temasek Green tomorrow morning. Ought to be strong now. Day was peaceful except some unfairness shit that happened at home but I was really happy that you've got a break tomorrow. Not because I needed free labour but because you initiate to meet me at both timings. And now at this point in time where I should sleep really soon some shit just happened. But what can I do? I can't possibly don't let you go and make you stay isn't it?
I'm really tired, eyes are swollen and runny tap nose.
I just feel like escaping.
,MELODY @ 10:06 PM
I'm really tired, eyes are swollen and runny tap nose.
I just feel like escaping.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Had the trial run for Trans, not that bad actually. Had a look at the apartments too. Alright, not bad too.
But one thing, I still dislike Trans. Not the subject itself, but the start of Trans is so early. Not because it eats up my holiday, but it eats up my working time which is money, and it eats up to another thing, but its something I can't say it out. And I'm seriously very very sad about it )': to the extent that I even cried. Shit. Not a good sign.
I'm seriously tired, like dead beat tired that I can fall asleep even while standing, but because of this stupid thing in me is bothering me, I can't sleep :S
I don't feel like being a good girl anymore. Cause its seriously tough.
i thought i haven't been writing little messages for you dearest. but i guess i did, looking at my previous posts. but anyway, dearie, i guess you know that your little girlf here is very sensitive and weak in terms of feelings and emotions so yup, i guess you can just don't bother about me crying and all shit. and seriously, i really miss you a lot. i really really do.
,MELODY @ 11:30 PM
But one thing, I still dislike Trans. Not the subject itself, but the start of Trans is so early. Not because it eats up my holiday, but it eats up my working time which is money, and it eats up to another thing, but its something I can't say it out. And I'm seriously very very sad about it )': to the extent that I even cried. Shit. Not a good sign.
I'm seriously tired, like dead beat tired that I can fall asleep even while standing, but because of this stupid thing in me is bothering me, I can't sleep :S
I don't feel like being a good girl anymore. Cause its seriously tough.
i thought i haven't been writing little messages for you dearest. but i guess i did, looking at my previous posts. but anyway, dearie, i guess you know that your little girlf here is very sensitive and weak in terms of feelings and emotions so yup, i guess you can just don't bother about me crying and all shit. and seriously, i really miss you a lot. i really really do.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Had four days off including today but it wasn't a rest break, probably except today.
Thursday and Friday was library camp. Alright it was the second time I went back as a senior but cause last year due to Salvo camp, I only went back at night. While this time round was the whole day, throughout the two days, except the fact that I didn't stay over.
It was fun actually, and it was really good to see all of them. They're grown up, like seriously they did. No longer the little girls and boys who don't know how to solve problems etc. Was seriously touched by how I see them trying to stay awake when they didn't slept for the whole night etc. So yup, came back on the first night and wrote little messages to them all.
And all thanks to Mr. Muru's comment during ECG day, Angeline Vinni and JunWei became my kids. And Sylvia wanted to join in as well. So yup. My children list on facebook have been edited. LOL.
Anyway working tomorrow from 7am to 7pm again, so yup, got to sleep early. Last third day of work tomorrow anyway. JIAYOU! ~
And thanks to my lovely juniors who invited us back. I seriously enjoyed myself. Love you all! ♥
ILOVE LIBRARY (:
And finally, pictures shall do the talking.
Nic: Is it? But I like myself with spects :D
Racer: Really? Oh well never mind luh. Prefer myself with spects though.
Ange: HELLO daughter.
Mark: Hahahah, don't worry. Will remain as superwoman no matter what.
Vinni: Hahahah, same here! As well as the camp. :D
dearie don't blame yourself kay. its not your fault for this morning's incident, after all you were tired and yup. i'm fine alright, so don't worry. and, one last thing, i miss you ... ♥
,MELODY @ 7:52 PM
Thursday and Friday was library camp. Alright it was the second time I went back as a senior but cause last year due to Salvo camp, I only went back at night. While this time round was the whole day, throughout the two days, except the fact that I didn't stay over.
It was fun actually, and it was really good to see all of them. They're grown up, like seriously they did. No longer the little girls and boys who don't know how to solve problems etc. Was seriously touched by how I see them trying to stay awake when they didn't slept for the whole night etc. So yup, came back on the first night and wrote little messages to them all.
And all thanks to Mr. Muru's comment during ECG day, Angeline Vinni and JunWei became my kids. And Sylvia wanted to join in as well. So yup. My children list on facebook have been edited. LOL.
Anyway working tomorrow from 7am to 7pm again, so yup, got to sleep early. Last third day of work tomorrow anyway. JIAYOU! ~
And thanks to my lovely juniors who invited us back. I seriously enjoyed myself. Love you all! ♥
ILOVE LIBRARY (:
And finally, pictures shall do the talking.
Nic: Is it? But I like myself with spects :D Racer: Really? Oh well never mind luh. Prefer myself with spects though.
Ange: HELLO daughter.
Mark: Hahahah, don't worry. Will remain as superwoman no matter what.
Vinni: Hahahah, same here! As well as the camp. :D
dearie don't blame yourself kay. its not your fault for this morning's incident, after all you were tired and yup. i'm fine alright, so don't worry. and, one last thing, i miss you ... ♥
Friday, March 12, 2010
Went back PHSS for their Educational and Career Day. Times changed, tourism isn't that popular among the kids now. LOL. But anyway, it was great seeing them! (:
My "kids" have all grown up~! Why kids? Cause Mr Muru (my secondary school discipline master) mistook me as one of my junior's mother! How can it be?! DO I SERIOUSLY LOOK THAT OLD? Ok I can't possibly give birth to them! Hello they're like 16 this yr while I'm 18!
Like HELLO everyone! I'm still the young and small and of course cute Melody Sim who will turn 18 in around a month plus. I'm neither a mother of Angeline, nor Vinni nor JunWei. Yes, Please remember that.
Got my results today. Cause I was so gan-chiong while waiting for the SMS notice that I could not sit properly without moving/walking around. I've got sharp buttocks :P So when the text came, I read my results without hesitating. And I improved A LOT! Ok it was because I really score lousy results in 1.1 so this sem's is pretty good, to me. HEYHEY YOU! How you gonna reward me?
Last but not least, I seriously enjoyed today! (: Love PHSS still <3
,MELODY @ 11:18 PM
My "kids" have all grown up~! Why kids? Cause Mr Muru (my secondary school discipline master) mistook me as one of my junior's mother! How can it be?! DO I SERIOUSLY LOOK THAT OLD? Ok I can't possibly give birth to them! Hello they're like 16 this yr while I'm 18!
Like HELLO everyone! I'm still the young and small and of course cute Melody Sim who will turn 18 in around a month plus. I'm neither a mother of Angeline, nor Vinni nor JunWei. Yes, Please remember that.
Got my results today. Cause I was so gan-chiong while waiting for the SMS notice that I could not sit properly without moving/walking around. I've got sharp buttocks :P So when the text came, I read my results without hesitating. And I improved A LOT! Ok it was because I really score lousy results in 1.1 so this sem's is pretty good, to me. HEYHEY YOU! How you gonna reward me?
Last but not least, I seriously enjoyed today! (: Love PHSS still <3
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Mood is seriously rollercoaster. And, what is rollercoster?
According to dictionary.com, it refers to something that resemble the progress of a ride on a roller coaster in sudden extreme changeableness.
Went for STUMPED and it rained while we were on our way running to our next station. Drenched, soak in both perspire and rain. Then took air-con bus, and back to TAS where there's sun and was warm. Air-con on monorail and Vivo. Tell me how not to fall sick? And I think I caught a cold already. Well who cares.
Lunched @ Marche with ChoonSze, SiPei, Andre, XinYi, NianQi and SiewHwee; while Sze Hui and Alan came when I was about to leave since J came to meet me. Walked around and went Plaza Sing instead. And I seriously wanna go shopping! Haven't been shopping since the start of 2010!
Dinner and back. And I even got leg massage on top of my usual shoulder and back massage, due to the accumulated pains and aches all over. Cool right! Plus I was really stinky due to the combination of perspire and rain earlier on, even after I dried myself and with body spray.
So that was the ups.
Now the downs. Its down all the way till underground. Won't specifically state though, but I guess you can infer from my twitter and fb, since blog isn't my only platform And to be frank, I am still very uncomfortable, and I really mean VERY. I just don't like the idea of it. But what to do? You're who you are and I seriously cannot interfere your life, I'm not in any position to. I am waiting for the chance to, but I don't think you will. Sending you was a hint, but too bad you didn't get it.
All I can do now is just to shut up and make no comments. I SHOULD FEEL CONTENTED AND NOT COMPLAIN/WHINE ANYMORE. Slap me if I did.
Am trying to find way to go out officially cause I don't wanna stay home. No dinner and being treated as transparent/shit. I hate this. F it.
Evelyn: Nah not comfortable staying there anymore.
Passer: Working as a cashier/runner in a fast food outlet in RWS. Btw, who are you?
Nic: HAHAHAH, long long time ago! Oh well, life's just like that and stuff. Alright lemme know kay.
dear don't need feel bad about anything. you did nothing wrong. if you wanna meet her, just go ahead. don't bother about how uncomfortable i am cause its nothing but shit. and other than two apologies, i owe you a, thank you. thanks for coming down today to accompany me and stuff. i really appreciate that. and probably i should treat it as the last day i'll see your name on my personal calendar. and, i'm fine (i hope).
,MELODY @ 12:20 AM
According to dictionary.com, it refers to something that resemble the progress of a ride on a roller coaster in sudden extreme changeableness.
Went for STUMPED and it rained while we were on our way running to our next station. Drenched, soak in both perspire and rain. Then took air-con bus, and back to TAS where there's sun and was warm. Air-con on monorail and Vivo. Tell me how not to fall sick? And I think I caught a cold already. Well who cares.
Lunched @ Marche with ChoonSze, SiPei, Andre, XinYi, NianQi and SiewHwee; while Sze Hui and Alan came when I was about to leave since J came to meet me. Walked around and went Plaza Sing instead. And I seriously wanna go shopping! Haven't been shopping since the start of 2010!
Dinner and back. And I even got leg massage on top of my usual shoulder and back massage, due to the accumulated pains and aches all over. Cool right! Plus I was really stinky due to the combination of perspire and rain earlier on, even after I dried myself and with body spray.
So that was the ups.
Now the downs. Its down all the way till underground. Won't specifically state though, but I guess you can infer from my twitter and fb, since blog isn't my only platform And to be frank, I am still very uncomfortable, and I really mean VERY. I just don't like the idea of it. But what to do? You're who you are and I seriously cannot interfere your life, I'm not in any position to. I am waiting for the chance to, but I don't think you will. Sending you was a hint, but too bad you didn't get it.
All I can do now is just to shut up and make no comments. I SHOULD FEEL CONTENTED AND NOT COMPLAIN/WHINE ANYMORE. Slap me if I did.
Am trying to find way to go out officially cause I don't wanna stay home. No dinner and being treated as transparent/shit. I hate this. F it.
Evelyn: Nah not comfortable staying there anymore.
Passer: Working as a cashier/runner in a fast food outlet in RWS. Btw, who are you?
Nic: HAHAHAH, long long time ago! Oh well, life's just like that and stuff. Alright lemme know kay.
dear don't need feel bad about anything. you did nothing wrong. if you wanna meet her, just go ahead. don't bother about how uncomfortable i am cause its nothing but shit. and other than two apologies, i owe you a, thank you. thanks for coming down today to accompany me and stuff. i really appreciate that. and probably i should treat it as the last day i'll see your name on my personal calendar. and, i'm fine (i hope).
Monday, March 8, 2010
I S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y M.I.S.S Y.O.U, A L.O.T A L.O.T ... ♥
,MELODY @ 10:22 PM
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Good morning world!
Its about five more minutes before I prepare for work. And like usual, I'm super exhausted. But what to do? Money is not easy to earn and, it is my only way of officially not staying at home without the need to give explanations, since J is on attachment already. So I might as well find something else to do. But anyway, I'm only working till the 25th cause trans is starting on 26th.
Given some thought to certain things ever since some things changed. Like seriously, I should and I must wake up my idea of not wishing nor hoping. And after a week of changes, I realised the truth out of everything, wishes never come true. And the more you wish for it, the higher your hopes, you fall harder. So due to me being afraid of falling, I decided not to wish, neither will I expect anymore.
Ending work at 11pm while I start at 7am tomorrow. F.Y.I. I'm working at Sentosa. I think I should just sleep there right! I think its a better choice and I won't have to rush here and there! Oh well, just hope I survive.
Racer: Nope, its not inconvenient nor stressful. After all, that few little minutes mean a lot to me. So I seriously don't mind going great lengths for it.
Xueshen: Thanks darling! (:
Nic: Thanks! Don't worry, I'm fine now. Trying to ignore everything that make me unhappy.
Eve: Yup, I am doing it now already. Block out all unhappiness.
dear, to you, i may have grown. but seriously, sometimes i don't. at this point in time, i still hide myself in the blanket and cry whenever i miss you. just like what little girls do when they miss their boyfriends late at night, yes i still do that. but what can i do? i can't possibly tell you how much i miss you and to force you to meet me when you can't right? so don't blame yourself alright. you didn't force me to grow, the environment did. all i just want for is for you to dote on me more each day, just like what i told you a day before you start your attachment. and last but not least, i love you ♥
,MELODY @ 11:43 AM
Its about five more minutes before I prepare for work. And like usual, I'm super exhausted. But what to do? Money is not easy to earn and, it is my only way of officially not staying at home without the need to give explanations, since J is on attachment already. So I might as well find something else to do. But anyway, I'm only working till the 25th cause trans is starting on 26th.
Given some thought to certain things ever since some things changed. Like seriously, I should and I must wake up my idea of not wishing nor hoping. And after a week of changes, I realised the truth out of everything, wishes never come true. And the more you wish for it, the higher your hopes, you fall harder. So due to me being afraid of falling, I decided not to wish, neither will I expect anymore.
Ending work at 11pm while I start at 7am tomorrow. F.Y.I. I'm working at Sentosa. I think I should just sleep there right! I think its a better choice and I won't have to rush here and there! Oh well, just hope I survive.
Racer: Nope, its not inconvenient nor stressful. After all, that few little minutes mean a lot to me. So I seriously don't mind going great lengths for it.
Xueshen: Thanks darling! (:
Nic: Thanks! Don't worry, I'm fine now. Trying to ignore everything that make me unhappy.
Eve: Yup, I am doing it now already. Block out all unhappiness.
dear, to you, i may have grown. but seriously, sometimes i don't. at this point in time, i still hide myself in the blanket and cry whenever i miss you. just like what little girls do when they miss their boyfriends late at night, yes i still do that. but what can i do? i can't possibly tell you how much i miss you and to force you to meet me when you can't right? so don't blame yourself alright. you didn't force me to grow, the environment did. all i just want for is for you to dote on me more each day, just like what i told you a day before you start your attachment. and last but not least, i love you ♥
Friday, March 5, 2010
if it was wrong to bring me to this world, kill me.
if you ever regret bringing me to this world, drive me out.
if you ever think i am an idiot at home, send me to somewhere that i'll never appear in your life.
i have never gotten your trust since young, and for the past almost 18 years, i have been living under a situation where you always perceive that I AM hanging around outside or having fun. how many times have i explained myself? everyone who knows me knew that i don't go out and have fun, or rather i am not even fucking interested in having fun or whatever shit, and where is the place i go to? compass point. tell me, where is the fun part?
and since whatever shit i do is wrong. seriously, find one night and just stab me and let me be dead. so i won't have to put up fucking attitude and going against me every minute, every second.
and if i were a few years older, i will, and i really mean i will, just leave this fucking place where is lacking of something it should always provide - love.
Tags would be replied in the next post.
,MELODY @ 10:55 PM
if you ever regret bringing me to this world, drive me out.
if you ever think i am an idiot at home, send me to somewhere that i'll never appear in your life.
i have never gotten your trust since young, and for the past almost 18 years, i have been living under a situation where you always perceive that I AM hanging around outside or having fun. how many times have i explained myself? everyone who knows me knew that i don't go out and have fun, or rather i am not even fucking interested in having fun or whatever shit, and where is the place i go to? compass point. tell me, where is the fun part?
and since whatever shit i do is wrong. seriously, find one night and just stab me and let me be dead. so i won't have to put up fucking attitude and going against me every minute, every second.
and if i were a few years older, i will, and i really mean i will, just leave this fucking place where is lacking of something it should always provide - love.
Tags would be replied in the next post.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Went for work at RWS @ RuYi yesterday. Not as chiong as past few experiences with TLG, but still, tiring. Now I realised how tough it is to work at Mac.
Slept till 1.30pm today, went out at almost 5pm to get my stuffs. Met up with J for dinner and homed again.
Seriously, I was thinking, is it time for me to stop relying on you so much? Cause I know, this is only the beginning; you will be busier day by day and finally there will be a time where you may not even have the time for me. And I can see that happening already. Thought could see you when I work morning shift so I don't mind the fact that I have to drag myself out of the bed at 5am in the morning, for the sake of you, yet it didn't turn out to be expected. Plus, being too relying on you may cause irritation as time goes by. And the first step to this, I should not even let you know that I've cried. For the sake of you, its time for me to be independent.
The accumulated amount of tears I've shed since last week is more than the amount of tears I shed a year ago...
Whatever it is, I'm gonna bury myself with work and nothing else since ... Its time for Melody to grow up, not to be a little girl anymore.
Work starts at 7am tomorrow, meaning I've to be awake by 5am. Off to sleep.
Xueshen: Have been open about it uh! Hahahah. What is the exciting thing? I've not received any mails yet :X
Nic: Not really relax luh. Gonna work like shit.
dearie thanks for giving in to me these few days for meeting me and whatever not. concentrate on your attachment kay. don't need worry and bother about me. i'll stay fine. hope to meet you again, soon. i love you ♥
,MELODY @ 10:58 PM
Slept till 1.30pm today, went out at almost 5pm to get my stuffs. Met up with J for dinner and homed again.
Seriously, I was thinking, is it time for me to stop relying on you so much? Cause I know, this is only the beginning; you will be busier day by day and finally there will be a time where you may not even have the time for me. And I can see that happening already. Thought could see you when I work morning shift so I don't mind the fact that I have to drag myself out of the bed at 5am in the morning, for the sake of you, yet it didn't turn out to be expected. Plus, being too relying on you may cause irritation as time goes by. And the first step to this, I should not even let you know that I've cried. For the sake of you, its time for me to be independent.
The accumulated amount of tears I've shed since last week is more than the amount of tears I shed a year ago...
Whatever it is, I'm gonna bury myself with work and nothing else since ... Its time for Melody to grow up, not to be a little girl anymore.
Work starts at 7am tomorrow, meaning I've to be awake by 5am. Off to sleep.
Xueshen: Have been open about it uh! Hahahah. What is the exciting thing? I've not received any mails yet :X
Nic: Not really relax luh. Gonna work like shit.
dearie thanks for giving in to me these few days for meeting me and whatever not. concentrate on your attachment kay. don't need worry and bother about me. i'll stay fine. hope to meet you again, soon. i love you ♥